Cousin Ali Comes to Gravity Falls
by Cornelia May
Summary: Ali's summer is turned upside down when she is forced to spend it with her great uncle, Stan Pines. Seems like Dipper and Mabel won't be alone all summer.
1. Cousin Ali comes to Gravity Falls

I arrived in Gravity Falls a little after one-thirty on Friday after noon. At the insistence of Uncle Kevin I went, Gruncle Stan wasn't my favorite great uncle in the world, but I had no choice. Gravity Falls is a small town just south of Portland, Oregon with a rich paranormal atmosphere, and if you're anything like me, you'd rather spend your time looking into the actual history of a town; on the other hand I was somewhat of an expert on ghosts. For those of you who are interested my name is Alison-May Pines, I am sixteen and independent.

I took the town's only cab to The Mystery Shack, well to be more accurate, the road side attraction that cons people out of their hard earned pocket change. After paying the cab fair I made my way to the gift shop, I knew from past experience (please don't ask me about it) that business was always slow and everyone hung out in that part of The Shack.

"Hello, Gruncle Stan, Soos, Wendy, Cousin Dipper, Cousin Mabel, anyone here?" I called, hoping that an answer was soon to come.

"What?" came the growling voice of my Gruncle Stan. " Oh, it's you, Alison you are late."

"Nice to see you too, the place hasn't changed that much, except for the sign out on the roof says, The Mystery Hack, not shack."

"I told Soos to fix that, you start work tomorrow,"

"I'm not working for a fraud; I saw a Help Wanted sign in the window at the diner,"

"My brother has sent you here, so you will work for me, and not a word to the cops, understand?"

"Fine,"

Dipper and Mabel came into the room. As usual Mabel was wearing one of her home made sweaters, this one was pink with a butterfly on the front, and Dipper was wearing the same ball cap with a pine tree on it.

"Ali, look I made you a sweater," said Mabel with a wide grin.

"Uh… thanks," I said taking the bright green sweater. "And how's Dipper?"

"Great, I didn't make anything for you,"

"You really didn't need to,"

"Hey, Gruncle Stan, maybe we could go over to the diner for supper tonight,"

"Kid, does it look like I'm made of money?" a dollar pokes out from under Gruncle Stan's jacket sleeve which he promptly taps back into place.

"Supper's on me tonight, and I just might tell a few tales,"

"Fine by me Alison,"

That evening we sat at the usual booth at the diner. Lazy Suzan took our order and I noticed Gruncle Stan's face go pink, trust me when I say he's heartless and miserly, but I never thought I'd see the day when he fell for the lazy eyed waitress.

"So, you still with high standing down at the Lodge?" I asked, trying to make the awkwardness go away.

"How'd you know I was still with the Lodge?" Gruncle Stan countered.

"The fez sorta gave it away,"

"Yeah, but the boys don't trust me like they did."

"Ali, where did you and Uncle Kevin go this year?"

"Go this year for what, Mabel?"

"Ghost hunting,"

"Well, I spent a few days at Hole in the Wall, seeing if I could find anything there,"

"That's on private property,"

"Yeah, but I asked first, plus the guy who owns the land knows Uncle Kevin really well,"

"Where is this place?"

"Wyoming," I stated dryly. "Rather be there then here right now."

"Catch any ghosts?"

"No, but I had this feeling that someone was watching me, so enough about me, you and Mabel staying out of trouble?"

"Yeah, I found this old book that has a lot of the weird things that hang around here."

"Here's your meals; and I'll be seein' you later Stan."

"Awkward,"

"They've been going steady for two weeks, blame Mabel."

"So, what kind of weird things hang around town?"

"So far, gnomes, manitors, convenience store ghosts, a lake monster, some weird kid named Gideon, and some old geezer that's had a little too much moonshine; oh and did I mention zombies?"

"Zombies don't exist Dipper, and do you even know what moonshine is?"

"Some sort of alcoholic beverage,"

"Well it's a bit more then that, it's made from corn, also goes by the name of white lightning because of it's clear color, and it's illegal; so if the old guy is making it then there has to be a still around here."

"How'd you know all that?"

"History books and educational television, so what shift do you want me to work?"

"You can help Mabel and Dippy with the second shift, that's noon to eight pm."

I took a sip of my sweet tea and finished my burger; I found it hard to believe that I would be spending the rest of my summer eating like this. I don't consider myself a health food freak but the food at the diner was a little too greasy for me, I guess that's why it's called Greasy's.

oooOOOooo

'Dear Uncle Kevin,

Two whole weeks have gone by since I have arrived in Gravity Falls. It's a nice town, once you get past the weirdness of the atmosphere. Gruncle Stan is, of course, making me work at The Mystery Hack (the S on Shack fell off and is laying on the roof) for my room and board. You'd never guess who else is here, Dipper and Mabel; apparently their parents had the same idea you did.

With Love,

Ali.'

"How does that sound?" I asked.

"Sounds like you don't want to be here." Mabel answered.

"I really don't but I hope something cool happens, by the way what makes Gideon so weird?"

"He sorta has a thing for me and hates Dipper with a passion,"

"Hmm… sounds like someone's got a crush on you, but wait isn't he Gruncle Stan's competition?

"Yep,"

"He has this powerful bolo tie thing that makes things float around the room; he also clams to be physic." Dipper chipped in.

"Hmm…"

oooOOOooo

The storm had knocked the power out. I was leading a tour through the Hall of Fakes otherwise known as the Hall of Mysteries.

"Oi, perfect. Alright everyone remain calm, does anyone have a match?" I asked

"What do you need a match for?" One of the poor saps that bought into Gruncle Stan's tourist trap countered.

"To light this old rail road lantern so we can finish the tour, now is there any other questions?"

"Here's some matches,"

"Thanks," I lit the lamp and continued the tour. "To your left you will take notice of a peculiar red stone…"

A few hours later the power still had not come back on and between all of us there (Stan, Soos, Wendy, Dipper, Mable, and I) one of us had to go into the basement.

"How 'bout we send the new girl down," Wendy suggested.

"Oh no, I have arachnophobia and claustrophobia, and basements set them both off." I replied

"Quit whining and go down there,"

"Well if I'm not back in three days send a search party; someone hand me that kerosene lantern, please."

After I lit the lantern and descended the stares to the basement I came face to face with a skeleton chained to the wall. I let out a scream. Then I realized it was fake.

"Bet you ten bucks that was the arachnophobia," said Stan.

"I'll take up that bet with claustrophobia," Wendy replied.

"Maybe someone should go down there and check on her,"

"It'll be your funeral Dippy,"

"HOLY CRAP… SKELETON… HUGE RAT SKELETON! WHERE'S THE EXIT? AHHH REALLY HUGE SPIDER! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"You owe me ten bucks Wendy."

"Seriously maybe someone should go down there and see if she's okay,"

"She's fine; those phobias are just in her head,"

"I don't know Stan, phobias like Ali's, can cause people to pass out."

While the others were debating on whether or not to come down and check on me I had found the fuse box and found that the storm had indeed knocked the power out.

oooOOOooo

'Dear Hayes,

Wish you were here in Gravity Falls. 'Least I'd have someone to talk to. I'm having an okay time here; my great uncle is forcing me to work for him at his tourist trap, to say the least it-'

"Someone has a boyfriend." Mabel said after reading over my shoulder.

"Sheesh kid, don't do that," I replied. "He's not my boyfriend; he's my… uh… best guy friend."

"Sure… he is. Is he cute?"

"Mabel, stop it will ya?"

"Thanks Dipper,"

"No problem," Mabel left the gift shop. "This guy is your boyfriend isn't he?"

"Yeah, the minute you even think about blabbing this you're dead, understand?"

"Secret's safe with me Ali,"

"Thanks,"

That night I went to sleep watching the western channel with Gruncle Stan, the only thing we have in common is our taste in movies and television shows. I dreamt of home and what it would have been like in the old west.

**A/N: this is just a taste of what I have in store for Ali and the rest of the gang stay tuned for more.**


	2. The Mystery Caves

I skipped work and headed over to the Gravity Falls library. I wanted to find out all I could from the historical stand point before I started with researching the paranormal history on this town that was north of normal, south of strange, and west of weird. In the way of books on the town, the library was in short supply, but it made up for it in the way of news paper articles, copies of historical documents, and the like.

'_Origen of name- water fall a few miles east of town called Gravity Falls._

_Date founded- 1863: started out as a mining camp on the Gravity River down stream from the falls. As more prospectors made their way into the Gravity River basin the town sprang up almost overnight._

_Mineral that put Gravity Falls on the map- gold, that was obvious.'_

I continued to take notes in the small note book I carried with me at all times, truth be told I had filled quite a few and still carried them with me for cross references. After a few pain staking hours of leafing through old news paper clippings from the founding date to yesterday's I found that paranormal happenings were somewhat of a common commodity in Gravity Falls. Most seemed to be linked to Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot, or the American Yeti. In one article, dated 1886, a group of miners went up into the caves northwest of town and were never seen or heard from again, I wrote it down.

'_Mysterious disappearances- 1886: group of miners, caves northwest of town, never seen or heard from again, could be linked to Sasquatch activity.'_

I returned to the Mystery Shack before closing time and found Dipper and Mabel in the gift shop.

"Where were you?" Dipper asked.

"At the library," I answered. "I did some research on town history, seems that the paranormal has been in Gravity Falls since its founding in 1863."

"Cool, find anything out about the books?"

"What books?"

"There is a set of three books that have all things paranormal listed within their pages, I have the third book, I'm fairly certain that Lil' Gideon has the second book, and it's anyone's guess on who has the first."

"If I had to take a guess on it I'd say it's Gruncle Stan, or Soos,"

"What do you think Mabel?"

"I think you two are weird," she answered.

"Now that's saying something seeing as I'm the normal twin,"

"No you're not, Dipper, you believe in ghosts,"

"So do you, and vampires,"

"Alright, cut it out the both of you, tomorrow is Saturday and I want to check out the caves northwest of here,"

"There are caves just northwest of town?" Gruncle Stan had entered the room.

"Gruncle Stan! I mean yeah, did a little research at the library during my lunch break, and seeing as we're closed on Saturdays I was thinking about going up there and taking a look see."

"Hmm… sounds like a thing that a responsible parent or guardian wouldn't want you kids doing, GOOD THING I'M AN UNCLE!"

oooOOOooo

'Dear Hayes,

I need you to do me a solid; I don't have a computer here, so I need you to do some additional research on Gravity Falls and the surrounding area. Anything related to the town's history, or any legends that surround the area would be helpful, I can only get so much from the library and the locals. Maybe you could come out here and spend your summer here too; I would love it if you did. Not a lot has happened since I got here and I'm starting to get a bad case of cabin fever. Hope the weather is good back home and I hope to here from you soon.

Ali'

"Writing another letter to the Mysterious Hayes?" Mabel asked.

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not, what's it to you?" I replied.

"It's like the third letter you've written in a week,"

"So?"

"He must be something if you are keeping constant contact with him,"

"He's like my best friend; no he's like a brother to me," _Oh man, I just friend zoned my boyfriend._

I walked down to the post office to mail my letter, I had a cell phone but Gravity Falls was a dead zone to phones that weren't bought in Gravity Falls. Some days I just wished I was home in Cody, Wyoming; today I wanted to mail myself home.

oooOOOooo

Saturday came and I was awakened by Mable's excitedness. I know she's my cousin but sometimes she's just a little much and this was one of those times. After eating our breakfast of toast and cereal we set out. Soos met us at the door.

"Mr. Pines said someone should go with you," he said.

"Um… okay," I replied

"So where are you three headed?"

"The caves northwest of town,"

"A number of people have gone missing up there,"

"And we want to find out why," said Dipper.

Soos drove us up there in his old beat up jeep. It was a bumpy ride as the road wasn't an oil road, for the easterners, that means it was an old dirt road, but the view was nice, you could see the whole town and the actual falls from that vantage point.

oooOOOooo

Mean while back in town: third person POV

A boy around sixteen walks into Greasy's Diner. He is dressed like a true cowboy, blue jeans, boots, a black hat modeled after one worn by a certain ex-outlaw in an early 1970's short lived western series, dark brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes. He sits down in a booth in the back so he can be alone with his thoughts.

"Hey you must be new in town," Lazy Suzan said.

"Yeah a friend invited me to spend the summer out here, ain't to much different from home." He replies.

"What'll you have?"

"Just coffee, black if you please," the lazy eyed waitress departed and came back with a mug of steaming hot coffee.

"Say, you wouldn't happen to know where I could find Ali Pines, would ya?"

"Should be over at the Mystery Shack run by Stanford Pines,"

"Thank ya kindly,"

"What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't, William Sherwood, Bill to my folks, Hayes to my closest friends."

Hayes left the diner and took the only cab out to the Mystery Shack. He knocked on the museum door.

"Go away, can't you see we're closed,"

"Yes, I see that you're closed, I'm looking for Ali Pines, she's a um… good friend of mine." _Crap, I just friend zoned my girlfriend, Ali I hope you forgive me._

The door opened reveling a man in a stained white tank-top, boxer shorts, a fez, and a gold chain around his neck.

"You must be Hiram,"

"Hayes actually, and you must be Stan Pines."

"Alison's not here,"

"Okay, then where is she?"

"Northwest of town a few miles checking out the mystery caves,"

"Know when she'll be back?"

"Do I look like a clock? Come in make yourself at home,"

oooOOOooo

Back at the caves:

"Hey Ali, come check this out." Dipper yelled

"What is it?" I ask.

"Looks like a lamp of some sort,"

"That's not just any lamp, Dipper, that's an old miner's head lamp. From what I've read, some had a tendency to blow up. I'm guessing that story about the missing miners is true."

"Think we should go in the caves and look around?" Mabel asked

"Are you mad? Do you want to go missing for the rest of your life?"

I hid the lamp under a near by bush. _This town just gets weirder and weirder._

"Soos, we're ready,"

"Find anything?"

"Dipper found a-"

"We didn't find anything, I'm a little disappointed, but not surprised."

When we got back to the Mystery Shack Hayes met me at the door. To say the least I was surprised.

"Hayes, when did you get here?"

"Not long ago, I brought the stuff ya wanted; yer Uncle Stan is kinda weird,"

"Yeah, him and the rest of this town; you staying long?"

"I planed on it,"

After we got done catching up on events from home we dove into the research that Hayes had done for me.

'_Numerous paranormal phenomena has been reported in Gravity Falls and the surrounding area for many years. Many paranormal experts claim it is the falls and rich limestone deposits in the surrounding area; however others claim that the Native Americans cursed the land before being forced onto the reservation.'_

"Well, there's one possible explanation, hey Dipper, can we see your book for a minute?" I asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea Ali, the author said I wasn't supposed to trust anyone," Dipper answered.

"Oh, well, uh… never mind then,"

"Book?" Hayes asks.

"There are three of them; Dipper has the third one, the local physic, Gideon, has the second, and who knows where the first one is." I answer.

"Hmm… you're right this place is more then meets the eye."


	3. Seeing Things

Hayes and I sat behind the Mystery Shack eating soft pretzels, one of our favorite past times. Little was said between us, but there was a mute conversation going on. Gruncle Stan had suckered Hayes in to working at the Mystery Shack. Now we were skipping work and eating pretzels.

"Ali, wanna go for a walk in the woods?" Hayes asks.

"Not really, I feel like I'm being watched when I'm walking through there," I replied

"But now that I'm here you have nothing to fear,"

"Yeah, except for gnomes, Sasquatch, manitors, and werewolves."

"Since when do you believe in werewolves?"

"Anything is possible in this town,"

I knew I was losing this small argument, so I agreed to go on the walk. We walked until the Mystery Shack was out of sight; I stopped short when I saw what looked like a bit of a blue dress disappear in to the bushes.

"What?"

"Thought I saw something,"

Ali, yer always seein' things,"

"Hayes, I'm being serious, I saw some thing."

"Let me guess, a werewolf." Hayes laughed.

"That's not funny. Who's out there? Show yourself!"

From the bushes a girl in a long blue dress appeared. She looked like she was my age, but somehow the long dress made her look older.

"Sorry if I scared you, my name's Sarah May Hampton." She said.

"Sarah Hampton, daughter of one George Hampton, the Gravity Falls banker in 1886?" Hayes asked.

"Mhmm, Pa was an honest man never did any thing shady or illegal."

"I take it that you died young," I said. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say influenza."

"Mhmm,"

"So do you haunt the Mystery Shack, the woods, or do you haunt the town?"

"Gravity Falls was my home; I guess I hang around because I was happy here,"

"I guess you know my cousins, Dipper and Mabel, I'm Alison, Ali for short, and this is Hayes."

"Well, my real name is William Sherwood, everyone just calls me Hayes."

"I think I've seen Dipper, and I don't know Mabel."

With that Sarah disappeared into thin air. I wanted to ask her about the missing miners to see if she could give me any more information. I felt for certain that on most occasions she was the one watching me in the woods. This encounter with this being certainly left me with some answers and many more questions. We walked back to the Shack where we found Dipper reading the book.

"Hey Dipping Sauce, what does the book say about ghosts?" I asked.

"Says they are the most common supernatural being in Gravity Falls, the most notable being the ghost of Sarah May Hampton." Dipper answered.

"Well, we just encountered Gravity Falls' most notable ghost," Hayes said.

"No way, where?"

"In the woods,"

"Book also says that she is seen mostly around the First Bank of Gravity Falls and her grave at the cemetery."

I knew that the mystery that surrounded Gravity Falls was becoming more complex every day and we were still nowhere near solving it. However, my instinct was telling me this all had something to do with Gruncle Stan and the lodge he belonged to; 'perhaps some mysteries are better left unsolved' kept echoing over and over in my head. For once I actually agreed with my thoughts, but I wouldn't be caught dead voicing it. Something else told me that something bad was going to happen, you know, that odd feeling that you couldn't put a finger on, that's sort of what it felt like. It was a spooky feeling knowing something bad was going to happen, but not knowing when or what was going to happen; worst yet something told me that whatever it was that was going to happen was going to happen to Hayes, that really scared me.

oooOOOooo

A day later I was down at the Gravity Falls Historical Society looking through their archives and taking more notes on some of towns most notable citizens, including George and his daughter Sarah Hampton.

'_April 2, 1886_

_There is a man in town who is documenting all the strange creatures and happenings in this book with a six fingered hand and a number one on the front. He says he can't trust anyone, but I think he trusts me. He says there's something watching him from the forest that surrounds the town, I'm not one to believe in the Indians' legend of the being they call Sasquatch, but there could be some truth in it. In yesterday's news paper there was a story about how six miners went into the caves north of town to start a mine and haven't come out yet. Pa says this is all hogwash and tall tales. However, the more I think about it the more I believe Mr. Elwood, the man writing the book.'_

I read the date of the journal entry again. Then I realized that Sarah probably had a birthday near the end of the year, like me.

"Finding everything okay?" A member of the society asked.

"Yes, thank you. I do have a question though," I answered

"I'd be happy to answer if I can, fire away."

"Do you have any information on a Mr. Elwood, 1886?"

"No, the only documentation on him is in Sarah Hampton's journal, I can tell you that in his time it was out of the norm to believe in the supernatural."

"God, or any other higher power there is to believe in, wouldn't they be classified as a supernatural being?"

"Not from a religious stand point, why are you so interested in this town's past and not its paranormal happenings?"

"Well, if you ask me I think they go hand in hand, to understand the paranormal side of Gravity Falls, one must first look at the town's history; if you think about it many of the town's legends have been around since its founding in 1863."

"Someone's done a little more research then I thought, you seem to know your facts from the myths, personally I think all these legends were created to attract tourists to the area, kinda like Deadwood made gambling legal in their town to keep from becoming a modern ghost town."

I handed back the items I had borrowed to take notes from and went back to the Shack. Now that I had the name of the author of Dipper's book I thought to pay local physic, Lil' Gideon a visit. I hoped in doing so I'd be able to get a few more answers and not come out with another boat load of questions.


	4. Strange Feelings

It was a normal day in good ol' Gravity Falls, well as normal a day could be. It was raining, and it would be that way for the next few days. I was sitting in the living room at the home of Gideon, the local physic. I don't believe in seeing into the future, but this was to communicate with the past.

"Ah, welcome Alison Pines to the Tent of Telepathy." Gideon said.

"Uh… this is your living room, and how did you know my name?" I asked, skeptical of Gideon's powers.

"I see all and know all,"

"Right…"

"Shall I start with a palm readin'?"

"Uh…sure…" I extended my right hand.

"The left hand, if you please," After a minute of deep thought and looking at my palm Gideon looked up. "I sense you are not from here, a few states to the east, Wyoming, yes that's the one."

"Okay, the reason I'm here i-"

"You are worried about a very close friend."

"Yeah,"

"Not to worry Alison, it was just a feeling; trust me I would feel the same way with all the strange things that go on here."

Somehow I got the feeling that he wasn't telling the whole truth.

oooOOOooo

A few hours later I was sitting in the gift shop, Hayes was leading a small group through the museum. The more I thought about Gideon me more I began to rebuke him.

"Got somethin' on your mind that you wanna tell me?" Hayes asked when he was finished with the tour.

"No, just thinking of home." I answered.

"You went to see that weirdo down the street, didn't you?"

"Okay, so I had Gideon do a palm reading for me, what's the big deal?"

"He's the competition,"

"The Tent of Telepathy is a bigger sham then this, trust me."

Hayes gave me a look that looked so much like the one in the same short lived early 1970's western series that I have mentioned. It was all I could do to suppress a laugh and keep myself from smiling.

"Oh com'mon, I know yer tryin' no to laugh." Hayes said with a chuckle.

"I can't take you seriously when you do that Hayes, I just can't."

"Why do ya think I do it?"

"To imitate our favorite canceled television series,"

oooOOOooo

'Dear Uncle Kevin,

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I'm having too much fun, NOT! Even with Hayes here it's been a drag. I haven't seen one thing out of the norm with this town. Paranormal Capitol west of the Mississippi my foot; the only thing that's paranormal in this town is your brother Stan and his tourist trap. The only mystery is why anyone comes to see his collection of fake oddities. I am not spending next summer here, I'd sooner go to Santa Marta and that's in Mexico, at least there I could have a chance to see El Chupacabra.

Okay, I'm kidding. I've seen so many weird things it ain't funny and strangely enough the history backs it up. But really, Gruncle Stan freaks me out; the tattoo is a new addition to his… uh… well I can't think of the word right now, but it's weird. Every time I'm in the woods I feel like someone or something is watching me. That's it for now, CALL ME! PLEASE!

Ali'

"Santa Marta?" Dipper asked.

"Resort town on the Sea of Cortés, really beautiful." I answered.

"You've been there?"

"No, but Hayes has."

oooOOOooo

A few days later the four of us were in the woods behind the Mystery Shack. Again that weird feeling swept over me. Somehow I knew that Sarah May was watching from inside the cover of the trees. From out of nowhere a wolf-like creature sprang on us….

I came to a few hours later; one of my arms was in a cast and sling. I panicked when I didn't see Hayes.

"Take it easy Ali," Dipper said.

"Where's Hayes?" I asked.

"He got the worst of whatever jumped us, down in the parlor,"

"Is he-"

"Pretty banged up, yeah."

"What was that thing?"

"Werewolf,"

"Great, now I'm going to have a boyfriend that changes into a monster every full moon."

"Not exactly, according to my book in order to change you have to be a pure breed werewolf, meaning you come from a werewolf family, Hayes will only have werewolf like tendencies."

"Such as?"

"Liking his stakes and burgers extra rare and stuff like that,"

"Perfect,"

"Look on the bright side, we aren't dead,"

I glared at Dipper. I knew he meant well, but that was the very last thing I wanted to hear at that moment. It had also dawned on me that Gideon had lied about the strange feeling I had had; perhaps I should not have gone to see him in the first place. However, one thing still escaped my mind, who had told Gruncle Stan where to find us?


	5. Pioneer Days

A few days after being attacked by that wolf thing the town was holding its annual Pioneer Days; a week long celebration on the town's founding. When I was doing my historical research on the town, I found it sort of odd that the name Nathanial Northwest came up.

"Gruncle Stan, who founded Gravity Falls?" I asked as he passed me in the hall.

"Nathanial Northwest, geesh everyone knows that." Stan said gruffly.

Hayes was still healing from our ordeal, but he was up walking around with the aid of crutches; and my arm was still wrapped in an ace wrap bandage. Dipper walked into the hall reading the six fingered book.

"Hey Dipping Sauce, is there any thing in that book on Nathanial Northwest, or a Mr. Elwood?" I asked.

"Yeah, Mable and I just found out that Quinton Trembley was the true founder of Gravity Falls; Pacifica was pretty steamed when I told her that." Dipper answered

"Who's Pacifica?"

"Just a snobby rich girl who thinks she's all that."

"Well, sounds to me like there's a carpet bagger in the turnip cellar."

"Alison, you are dead to me!"

"I'm kidding Gruncle Stan, gee don't have a cow."

"Hey Ali, remember when you and me were king and queen of the Cheyenne Frontier Days?"

"Yeah I do Hayes, but I don't think we stand a chance this year."

"No, I don't but you do, when you came did you bring that Civil War style ball gown?"

"Yeah, but… crap, I forgot the hoop skirt, blarrrgh, I don't think there's a Civil War costume shop anywhere in town, is there, Dipper?"

"Yeah, there's one just down the street from Greasy's."

"Good, how much is their widest hoop skirt?"

"How should I know what the price of a lady's undergarment that went out of style in the 19th century? Besides, I'm not a reenactor."

"What about that bustle gown, the blue silk one. If'n you wore that you'd be the splittin' image of Sarah."

"But it won't be the same without you Hayes, and besides everyone in town knows Pacifica much less have they heard of me."

"Hmm, ya make a good point Ali, I know Stan could go, he dresses the part of a high rollin' card sharp everyday, ah the lady and the gambler; that would make a good western.

oooOOOooo

After talking Gruncle Stan into entering to become the Pioneer Days' king we went into town, driving an old buggy that I had found in a shed behind the Mystery Shack. We got the two mule team after I called one of the local farms outside of town.

"I can't believe that you bought into these idiots," he said

"If you don't like what goes on here then don't come out to Cheyenne in late July, we go all out for Frontier Days."

"You of all people should hate this,"

"It harkens back to a simpler time in American history, and it was a time of defining ourselves as a nation, and for your information women as well as men knew how to drive wagons and buggies back then, now adays it's turning into a lost art, kinda like Victorian hair jewelry."

"People wore that stuff?"

"Yes, back during the rein of Queen Victoria it was not an uncommon practice for a man or a woman to have something made out of hair, whether it be a brooch, watch chain, you name it. It was a symbol of pure love, so to speak."

"I'll bet…oh look we're here, I'll go enter us and you go park the buggy."

After stopping to let Gruncle Stan off at the registration booth I took the buggy over to the 'livery stable'. The original one built in 1863 was still standing and was maintained by the town's historical building commission. Only used during the week of Pioneer Days, then it's cleaned out and closed for the rest of the year. While trying to find Gruncle Stan I ran in to Gideon.

"Why Alison Pines, you look mighty fetchin' in that get up would you care to accompany me to the barn dance on Saturday?" He asked in his charming southern drawl.

"No thank you Gideon, but thanks of the offer." I answered.

"Well do ya think Mabel…"

"No Gideon, I'm going to the barn dance and she's covering my shift at the Mystery Shack." I then noticed that my right arm was still wrapped in the ace wrap and it was sticking out like a sore thumb. "Oh by the way, thanks for nearly killing me and my boyfriend a few days ago."

"Alison, whatever are you talking about?"

"The other week I came to your home so you could tell me if something bad was going to happen to my boyfriend, after you read my palm you assured me that nothing was going to happen. Then a few days later Dipper, Mabel, my boyfriend, and yours truly went on a walk in the wood out back of the Mystery Shack and were attacked by a werewolf, we were almost killed, well Hayes was, but that's not the point thanks to you I have to enter the thing for king and queen of Pioneer Days with Gruncle Stan. If you will excuse me I must be going."

oooOOOooo

When I finally found Gruncle Stan, Pacifica, the girl whom I figured was up at the podium giving a long winded speech about how she has won Pioneer Days' princess since she was four and why people should vote for her to be queen, he was standing in the back of the large crowd.

"…and that's why you should vote for me as your Pioneer Days Queen, hmm looks like I have a little competition this year from the bozos down at the Mystery Shack, please welcome to the stage Stanford and Alison Pines." Pacifica finished.

We walked up to the stage and it was decided that I was going to go first.

"Hello fellow citizens of Gravity Falls, and Gideon; I am pleased to stand before you today and revile the truth about the founding of our town. Nathanial Northwest did not found Gravity Falls; a political screw up by the name of Quinton Trembley founded our town. Now with that being said…" I went on and I think that I had made a good point. "… and that is why you should vote for Stanford and me."

With that the people headed for the polls to vote. After about the longest twenty minutes of my life the results were read by Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Derland.

"The results are in and it looks like our new King and Queen of Pioneer Days is Alison and Stanford Pines, with Pacifica as a close second earning her the title of Pioneer Days Princess for the twelfth year in a row." Sheriff Blubbs said

"Woo! I gotta bell! Ring, ring!"

When we got back to the Mystery Shack a surprise party had exploded in our faces for winning. I drank my first Pitt Cola that night and enjoyed it. Victory is a dish best served sweet.


End file.
